Avoidance

AVOIDANCE

In all societies, avoidance of one kind or another is observed in the relations between a daughter-in-law and her parents-in-law or a son-in-law with his parents-in-law. For example, older Navaho Women traditionally wore tiny bells known as ‘mother-in-law bells’ designed to warn sons-in-law of their approach so the men might be absent.

1. According to Tylor, avoidance is particularly due to matriarchal system. In some tribes, for example, Zuni and Hopi, after marriage, the bridegroom stays in the family of the wife. Since he has no definite status in the family, he is avoided. After procreation, his status becomes somewhat more definite and better.

2. According to James Frazer, avoidance is due to sexual reasons. He based his theory particularly upon the brother-sister avoidance in Vedda of Ceylone and the inhabitants of Trobriand island. Among Vedda people, the brother and sister cannot live under the same roof, nor can they eat together. This avoidance is for checking sexual relationships among heterosexual people.

3. Sigmund Freud explained avoidance with psycho-analytical theory, which refers to sexual relationships. According to him, sex motivation is normal among persons of opposite sex. The avoidance of mother-in-law and son-in-law relationship is due to the possibility that the mother may be reluctant to hand over her daughter to a stranger and feels displaced in the affections and loyalty. Since the daughter has lived with the mother for so many years, she has natural attachment to her. This made the mother-in-law’s incestuous feelings toward her son-in-law.

4. According to Lowie, both in-laws have different cultural and social values. It is possible that the mores of wife’s side may be different from the mores of the son-in-law’s side. In a matriarchal family, the bridegroom is different from other family members since he comes from the other family. Hence he is avoided. Similarly, in a patriarchal family, the daughter-in-law is avoided.

5. Turner High has explained avoidance in terms of conflicts. According to him, it is the best method to achieve harmonious relationships. In a family, the status of the daughter-in-law is peculiar. She has to serve the in-laws in the family. Therefore she cannot understand proper relationships leading to conflict with the in-laws. Avoidance is an attempt to solve the problem of this conflict.

6. According to Radcliffe Brown, the main cause of avoidance is social. Love and hate are natural among members of two different families. Hatred is harmful to the organization of the family. Avoidance is a cure for this conflict.

In all societies, the usage of avoidance is observed in one form or another. It means that the two kins should remain away from each other. Thus, the father-in-law or mother-in-law should avoid daughter-in-law or son-in-law.